Keep Smiling: Our Miscarriage: Part 3

Part 3: Sharing the News

[This is the third entry about our miscarriage. To read our story from the beginning, click here.]

In those first few days, it was information overload as we tried to process everything. I downloaded 4 pregnancy/baby name apps, joined several mom-to-be websites, and Googled, “is ______ safe during pregnancy?” countless times. (Fill in the blank with the most ridiculous things you could imagine) I also read numerous articles about “what to expect" along the way. I was completely fascinated with pregnancy. I was truly in awe of God's design and the tiny person growing inside of me, and I couldn't wait to get my next daily update (from all of those apps).

At the same time, I was still skeptical that it was really true (even though I re-tested with the more expensive digital test the next morning).

I really didn't feel any different. But I found that the more I read about what was happening day-by-day/week-by-week, those symptoms almost become a self-fulfilling prophecy. Oh, yes...I think I have cramps? I think I have to pee a lot? I think smells bother me? But in all seriousness, I was legit tired. I remember being so thankful that I wasn't working full-time. Sydney and I definitely enjoyed our daily naps/resting time together (and popcorn).

We also started taking the infamous "belly" pictures right away. Clearly, I wasn't showing yet. And you can ask Dan, every week, I felt so ridiculous taking the pictures...but...I knew at the end, I'd be glad to have pictures from the very beginning, aka 5 weeks. (We found out between weeks 4-5, and apparently pregnancy is calculated two weeks before you're actually pregnant...who knew?)

So much information. So exciting. How could we possibly keep the news to ourselves?!

As I mentioned earlier, we didn't plan to tell anyone for a while, but we ended up wanting to tell our families right away. We decided that we'd want/need their love and support each step of the way regardless of what happened. Plus, I talk to my mom just about every day. It was killing me not to tell her as soon as I found out! The days seriously dragged.

Ideally, we would have loved to tell our parents in person. After all, this was the first grandbaby on both sides. Super exciting. But...we live on a tiny island in the middle of the ocean, far, far away from loved ones. So we brainstormed alternatives. One idea was to take the picture of Sydney (above), frame it, and mail it to them. Total shocker when they opened it, right? The only problem: we wouldn't be able to see their reactions, and that was really important to us. So we modified the plan. Since being face-to-face wasn't an option, we opted for the second best option - FaceTime. And when they answered our call, that picture of Sydney was what they saw (I know the pictures are blurry, but I love them anyway).

At first, my parents thought we were just showing them a cute picture of Sydney. Then, my dad saw the sign and thought we were getting another puppy. But my mom...she got it right away...then, she started crying. They were so excited and couldn't wait to tell people, but they promised to keep the secret with us! Shortly into the conversation, my dad wanted to decide their "official" grandparent names. He would be Poppy (he's loved that name for years). And my mom would be Yiayia (after her mom, and it means "grandmother" in Greek). Such special moments.

When we called Dan's parents, it was similar - his mom got it right away! And they were just as excited! They immediately wished we would stay in Hawaii another year because the baby would be an extra special reason to visit such a beautiful place. We decided 2013 was going to be a very exciting year for the whole DiBlasi family, with many things (an engagement, new jobs, graduation...and a baby!) to celebrate.

[More on where/when we'll be next year in a future post]

So backing up, a quick recap. We found out on Tuesday, we told our parents that weekend, and we originally planned on waiting to tell our siblings (and maybe a few close friends) a little bit longer, at least until after our first appointment on February 13. Seriously, though, when I say the days dragged, they literally dragged. We lasted about another week...we couldn't keep it in.

I’m super close with my siblings, it was hard to keep something this big from them. Jon had emailed me to ask for resume advice and we ended up talking on the phone. We were chatting about photography school and his summer plans (after graduation). He was applying for an internship with National Geographic. (He got it!) It led perfectly into my question... I asked, “So Jon...will you be available this fall...say, if we wanted to hire you...for newborn photography...you know, maybe in October?” Without hesitation, he said, “Of course, definitely...[enter pause]...Wait! What?! Are you pregnant?!” Haha it was perfect. He was so excited.

For Kate, I had tried talking to her all weekend, but she was busy at GCC so I kept telling her to call me when she was free. I didn’t want to make it too obvious, though, because I knew she’d know. Even how it was, I think she had a sneaking suspicion when I was persistent about talking that weekend. It's a sister thing. Ha! When she called Sunday afternoon, I was so excited! I asked her 3 questions:

Are you by yourself?

Can you keep a secret – even from Matt? (Matt/Kate are dating and Dan wanted to tell his brothers on his own)

Would you prefer to be called Aunt Kate or Aunt Katelyn?

She shrieked with excitement on the other line!

After telling both Jon and Kate, I sent them the picture of Sydney that we used to tell our parents. They loved it! We used the picture of Sydney to tell Dan's brother's, too, and they were equally as excited!