Our Miscarriage - Introduction

Part 1: Introduction

At the end of January, Dan and I found out we were pregnant with our first baby, due to arrive early October. We were beyond thrilled!

But everything changed in March, when our little one went straight to heaven. 

Like other couples, we originally planned to keep the biggest, most exciting news of our lives quiet for a while - at least until the first trimester passed. From everything we had read, part of the reason people wait to share the news is because of the risks that accompany early pregnancy. Quite simply, it's because of fear. The fear of something going wrong. The fear of miscarriage. And...the fear of having to share the pain of miscarriage with others.

But here we are.

On the night we found out we lost the baby, I couldn't sleep. I stumbled across a blog, Love Lavished, that brought unexpected comfort. Even in one of my darkest moments, I could see a glimpse of God's hand. Our stories were so similar, and I knew finding the blog wasn't some random coincidence. I spent hours reading through her blog. And right then, I knew if I ever decided to open up and share our story, I'd model her format. Therefore, I intend to write a different piece of our story throughout the next several days. It's just too much for one post. 

This is by far the most personal thing I've ever written about, and I've wrestled with the idea of sharing our story for weeks. After all, even though it's extremely common, miscarriage isn't something that's often discussed. I totally understand and respect those who grieve in silence. But for me, it's hard to just bury and move forward. And this blog is intended to be a reflection of our story - what we learn and how we grow from all life experiences.

I'm writing for a couple of reasons. First, I find comfort and clarity through writing. It's a way for me to process and heal. And even though it's painful, I want to remember what I'm learning in the midst of this trial. Second, perhaps our story will help others who are struggling and ultimately, bring glory to God. Maybe this blog will help comfort someone the way Love Lavished helped me. 

The title of our blog is Keep Smiling, [to see where the name originated, click here] and I usually end all of my posts with that line. At first, I didn't want to end this post that way...

While we wouldn't have chosen this path willingly, it happened. It's changed us. And it's part of our story now.

Thank you for sharing in this journey alongside us.

I can't seem to get the words of Matt Redman's song, "Blessed Be Your Name," out of my head:

Blessed be Your name
On the road marked with suffering
Though there's pain in the offering

Blessed be Your name

~

You give and take away

You give and take away

My heart will choose to say

Lord, blessed be Your name

And so,

Keep Smiling...